Please Mr. Postman

Is it normal to think your mailman is totally hot? Well, I do. 

My heart broke a little the day Mr. Postman told me he would no longer be on the route that brought him to my office. He's so dreamy. Our new mailman is nice, but he doesn't have the smile of Mr. Postman. 

But there's a glimmer of hope! Lately he's been coming back to our office on random days instead of the new mailman. At last, one of my co-workers mentioned the thought that had been swirling in my mind for months:

"You should date the mailman!" 

I agree. I mean, why not? Think of all the perks he must get as a government employee! And all the smiles and sunshine he takes part in every day must mean he's happy. 

Unfortunately, I can never tell what day he'll be walking into my office. He almost ALWAYS catches me eating lunch at my desk.
"Oh hey there. Enjoying your lunch?"
[Mouth full of salad] "Oh umm yes. Have a good day!" 
Ugh.

And I don't even know his name! And he probably doesn't know it's my dog barking at him every time he comes to the door. Yes, Mr. Postman's new route includes my home...guarded by the c-block.