Boys Dumb. Girls Crazy.

Are girls more observant than guys?
I'm starting to think so.

A large portion of my relationships ended because I "observed" more carefully than the guy expected...

The worst example was when The Playboy and I had a wonderful night together celebrating the holidays, but then I went to use his restroom and saw a pile of bobby pins and fake eyelashes on the counter. I mean, really? He couldn't bother to clean up after another girl who spent the night... right after he promised me he would never see her again?? Sloppy.

Ron Swanson has been pretty perfect by normal standards, but when I went to eat his steak dinner I took a quick look around his bachelor pad. It was totally normal until she appeared...

"Ex-wife" labeled on a box for an external hard drive sitting right on his desk. Her real name was handwritten with little flowers surrounding...

Oh god. How can I not stalk her now? Is she prettier than me? 

I don't know if it's just my experience, but I think guys are not as good at cleaning up after their previous relationships. Hell, I make sure there's no sign of my ex before a new guy comes over. But, it seems I am always very aware of another girl's presence.

Girls are crazy. Guys, just don't leave your trail out in the open.

The first good first date!

With three strikes against me, I started to think online dating is for boring people and pervs. I relapsed. And by relapse, I mean I went back to my exes...one of my biggest flaws. I don't cut ties when I should. It's a problem, but at least I recognize it.
So maybe I sent a super sad email to The Aussie telling him how sorry I was for being a bad girlfriend and not realizing how amazing he was until after it was too late. And maybe this nearly caused him to end his new relationship and look for jobs in Los Angeles. And MAYBE I also texted The Playboy to come visit, knowing full well he was dating a 19-year-old. I'm weak. I'm sorry. UGH.

After this minor setback, I happened across a message from a guy who looked decently attractive. And hey, he's Jewish! After some flirtatious text messages, I agreed to go out with him on a Friday night. As I walked out of the parking garage, I saw what looked like a typical Jewish guy and nearly turned back to my car. (Why, oh, why can't I be attracted to The Chosen Ones?) Instead, I smiled and approached.

You're already out, Lindsay. Just get a drink, then call your friends to go out after. Plus, you're having a REALLY good hair day. (See below)

The Sandwich Guy (you'll understand why this is his name in due time) and I decided to go to one of the bars in Culver City. Before I could even look at the menu, he ordered a vodka orange juice with an extra shot. I stuck with the typical girl drink: vodka soda. No extra shot for me, thanks. He was nervous; it was his first time on a date with someone he met online. Halfway through the first round, we decided to share appetizers and he stood up and came around to stand over my shoulder as we looked over our one menu. Whoa. Am I attracted to him? I have little butterflies now that he's so close!

After we ate and went through a second round of drinks, it was time to go. I think I like him...and he obviously likes me, too, because he wants to keep the night going. Standing room only in the next bar we walked to, but he ordered me a beer and we stood and talked a little more. I was either drunk, or starting to really like him. Let's go with the latter because right then he leaned in and kissed me. We kissed right in the middle of the bar and I felt like time stopped for a second. It was a great move.

When I finally used my, "I have to go home because my dog hates to be alone" excuse, I looked at my phone and saw we'd been out for FOUR HOURS. Longest first date ever, but a successful one! I see a second date in my future...